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Monday, 20 May 2013

Parental quandaries or, the things they do not tell you before you have children

Things to consider before you procreate:

  • To immunise or not to immunise, or, Autism versus any number of deadly diseases
  • Pacifier, dummy, or, the other option- insomnia
  • Breast or bottle, or, sags versus bags
  • Cloth or disposable nappies, or, rash versus environmental disaster
  • Public versus private school, or, illiteracy versus bankruptcy
  • The truth about Santa- Hey I still believe in the red fella'
  • Pocket money or poverty, or, earn versus free load
  • White bread, or, wholemeal- either way if you eat the crust your hair will curl
  • Smack or not to smack, or, brat versus bruise (I personnally find twisting ears works wonders)
  • Mobile phone or not to mobile phone which leads to monthly plans or pre-paid
  • XBox versus Playstation- Dad will ultimately decide and usually buy both
  • Social media or social retardation- Facebook versus Myspace versus Skype etc etc
  • Computer games (chewing gum for the brain) versus books- no brainer
  • Driving lessons- fork out a professional teacher, or, fork out inflated insurance premiums

By the time you consider all of the options your kids will either be getting married or leaving home or both. This will allow you to start planning for your grandchildren.

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